Thursday, February 01, 2007

Catch and Release

My husband told me the other day that President Bush (in honor of Molly Ivins, who recently passed, let's call him "Shrub" for old time's sake) signed an executive order which basically requires all branches of government involved in making and interpreting regulations to have the oversight and the rubber-stamp of a political appointee. Read about it here.

This is preposterous!!!

Basically, Shrub is sick and tired of having to fight the "scientists" and their "facts". These "facts" are compelling folks at the EPA and OSHA to issue regulations that "hamper" business.

While the question of whether regulation puts undue burden on businesses (and therefore, that hardship gets passed on to consumers in the form of higher prices) is not unreasonable, what IS unreasonable is placing a political appointee in the position of being the judge of this.

Like one of Shrub's favorite tricks, this one takes a perfectly rational idea (that business should be one of the considerations in any passing of regulation) and gives a perfectly assinine, inappropriate, and downright corrupt response.

I've thought over and over again: How is it that he can keep doing this? How is it that we aren't rising up against him, at least putting some sort of pressure on him to stop doing this kind of crackpotty stuff?

I think what it is is that his corruption, his perversion is so pervasive, so often, so egregious we don't even know where to start. I feel like every other day the man is knocking the wind out of me.

It's all a cheap trick, and I know it. We all know it. And no one has been seemingly able to reign it in, though we all know what's going on. My only hope now is that we get a president into office next with a long memory and an axe to grind.


While we're in the realm of fantasies, I have a kvetch-- a bone to pick, shall we say.

Last week I had a babysitter in the afternoon and went to see a matinee. A "chick flick", if you will, called "Catch and Release" starring Jennifer Garner.

Up until this point my main knowledge of Ms. Garner was from the pages of People magazine. (My friends often tease me that I know so much about celebrities without having seen almost a damned thing they've been in). But I digress. Anyhow, so I always sort of had this feeling about Ms. Garner that she looked like a little girl. Since I haven't ever seen Alias or anything else she's been in, I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Boy was I wrong.

And, apparently, so was the New York Times! One of the reasons I thought seeing this movie would be a good idea is because it actually got a decent review! Gadzooks.

So here it is, you ready?

The story is: Ms. G is engaged to a guy and the day before their wedding he dies in some freak accident. Poor girl. At the visitation she escapes because she can't handle the outpouring of grief and she goes to hide in the bathtub of the upstairs bathroom. Where, not a second afterwards, the dead guy's best friend comes barging in and "does" the catering chick right there. After they're done and the girl leaves, Ms. G jumps out, horrified and annoyed and confronts the guy, then storms out.

So, where does that leave us? With a budding love affair of course! She starts to learn things about her fiancee (like an affair he had, a stash of money he's hidden from her) and starts to see that he wasn't so great after all, and she was duped. Meanwhile she gets closer and closer to the funerary copulator and ends up falling in love with his smarmy ass.

And this is a happy ending? Excuse me? Really, you lost me when the supposed love interest in this flick was having a quicky with the catering chick. Not redeemable.

To top it off, the film was set in Boulder, CO, one of my old haunts. That's all well and good-- they showed lots of parts of Boulder which is always beautiful and fun to see... but the way they "set" it was so obnoxious: one of Ms. G's friends works for Celestial Seasonings choosing the inspirational quotes for the sides of the tea boxes... everyone is running around in Bolder Boulder t-shirts (a famous 10k race held yearly) and with the posters adorning their walls... everyone drinks from Celestial Seasonings mugs. It's enough to make you puke.

And what's up with the fact that every Hollywood actor and actress seem to have these gargantuan white-out white teeth? All I could think of while Ms. G and the smarmy guy were having these romantic kisses was eeeeeeeeeeeewww! How's there room for anything else in their mouths with those goddamned beaver teeth?

Yes, I am a sucker for the chick flick. The chick flick done well. The chick flick that does a convincing job making us identify with the woman (in this case, a pouty five-year-old?) and the amour (a smarmy, beaver-toothed "artist"?). The chick flick that makes you feel more human, more romantic, more hopeful.

This one? Throw it back in the water.

From a children's poem:

One, two, three, four, five;

Once I caught a fish alive.

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten;

Then I let it go again.

Why did you let it go?

Because it bit my finger so.

Which finger did it bite?

This little finger on the right.

No comments: