Such was the case yesterday in this house-o-fun. After days of being sick, my son has seamlessly descended into teething hell, all four canines pinching their way up through swollen gums at once. If there were any rules yesterday, they were written by my son. They were, to the best of my knowledge, as follows:
1) Everything is wrong.
2) You think you're funny? You're not. You're wrong. (See #1)
3) Anything you do to comfort me will be rebuked and scorned.
4)Food must be masticated, ejected, then flung.
5)Sleep is bad, unless it is achieved using some position that immobilizes and deadens one of mom's limbs.
6)Trucks are torture.
7)Books are torture.
8)When shopping, make sure everyone in the store thinks mom is torturing you.
9)When mom's not looking, do something dangerous.
10)Get upset when she stops you from doing the dangerous thing.
11)It's your day. Make the most of it!
Yes, it was a true version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Someone came and took my affable, gentle, funny, intellegent child and replaced him with a war-like Klingon (sans trilobite forehead). Those teeth coming up are actually alien probes.
He seems to be in a better mood today. That is to say, he only ended up crying uncontrollably in our bed at 5am this morning, and seems to be content to whine, nag and grouse at his dad instead of just me. (It helps that his dad was requisitioned on the homefront to babysit the carpet installers who are currently paving wide swathes of the basement with cut pile as this is written). Instead, dad has been drafted into kiddie-diversion at the mall playground, to be followed by child haircut-torture at 11am. Right now mom rules the roost, and mom is going to eat a peanut butter cup. It's her manifest destiny.
And speaking of martial law, in case you weren't paying attention... Bush has apparently buried another one of his nuggets (and I'm not talking the kind of gold) in a bill that allows him to declare martial law just that much easier.
As the NYT puts it: "Beyond cases of actual insurrection, the president may now use military troops as a domestic police force in response to a natural disaster, a disease outbreak, terrorist attack or to any 'other condition.'"
Yes, enter Bizarro World. Or just continue Bizarro World. As I said in an earlier post, it almost takes my breath away the scope of imagination and malice that the Bush administration has in repealing important parts of our democracy. I mean, is there even any even vaguely plausible exuse for trying to do such a thing? I don't think at this point they even feel like they have to justify anything with a rouse of explanation. They just do it. Period.
Though I have to wonder: if Bush (oh, let's get real here-- it's Cheney) really wants to turn us into a fascist state under his martial law, who is really going to go along with that? I must reiterate what Jane Smiley says on the Huffington Post here:
I have to point out that with this as with other legal maneuvers like the Military Commissions Act, I have to wonder who Bush, Cheney, Rove, etc. think they are governing. Were they planning to spring these things on us? One day, we were supposed to wake up, and martial law would be declared, and we were supposed to actually pay attention to it? Where are they keeping the troops who were going to patrol our neighborhoods? Who was it who was going to disarm the population? Who was their base going to be, when they sought public support for martial law? Who was going to round us up and where were they going to put us?
Umm. Yeah. So the 20% of nutjobs who still approve of Bush are going to marshal the rest of us? I don't think so. Too many malls to conquer.
Perhaps Bush is simply playing by some of the same rules as my toddler. (Ever seen that t-shirt with the official Toddler Property Laws on it? What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine.)
In other words: It's your day. Make the most of it!